For as long as I can remember, I have had a pretty competitive nature. I guess you have to be competitive when you have four brothers that you have to deal when you're growing up. Grades, sports, who has the better BB gun, who knows more movie lines: they were all things that we were, and for the most part (except grades) still are very competitive in. But, when does that competitive nature go too far? When is it time to throw out the win/loss record? I have come to experience that the time to let competition go is when that competition comes into direct conflict with having a healthy relationship with others. What I mean by that, is that no friendship is worth losing due to the pursuit of "winning". However, friendships are not the only types of relationships that can be affected by this excessive state of competitiveness. Employer/employee relationships, family relationships, and your relationship with God can all be destroyed by competition.
In the work/job setting, taking competition too far could mean resorting to unethical practices in your career to make yourself look better in order to get that promotion, or hit sales goals to achieve bonuses. When found out, it is a hard thing to do to convince an employer to trust that employee again. It is detrimental to not only that job and relationship, but possibly any other job that you may get after that if you happened to have been fired due to that unethical behavior. Even if not fired, that sort of behavior causes division between coworkers and friends at work, all for the reason of being too competitive.
Family relationships are some of the strongest relationships out there. However, because of the strength of these bonds, it becomes even harder to repair them when they are broken. Competitive nature can easily take a harmless debate over something trivial and turn it into years of mistrust, dirty looks, and silent treatments. A debate can easily become hostile when one or more parties within the debate decide that "winning" is more important than achieving the actual purpose of any debate: to state the views of each party, not to award a winner. The problem with these types of rifts in the family is that over time the people involved rarely remember the reason that they are upset at each other, but they know that they are "supposed" to be upset. It's holding a grudge for the sake of holding a grudge. They forget who "won" or "lost" and only hold onto the broken relationship. I have seen this within my own family and families of friends that I'm close with, all because people are too prideful to set aside their competitive nature and just humble themselves to work on a broken relationship.
Competition can also separate you from God. When the pursuit of competition or winning becomes more important that your relationship with God, it becomes negative and dangerous. Don't get me wrong, competition can be a good thing, but it CANNOT be more important than your relationship with God. When competition creates a gap in your relationship with God, it can become even harder to repair than relationship with a friend or family member. This is because when we let anything come in between ourselves and God, we leave it open for other things to come into our lives that drive us further and further apart. Division becomes comfortable and we begin to rely less and less on God in our lives. We begin to think that we know better than God, and that we don't need Him. Nothing could be further from the truth. We need Him daily, in every aspect of our lives. When pursuing God honestly and truthfully, He will lead you to the times when it is appropriate to compete and when it is necessary to refrain from competition.
When relationships are damaged due to the competitive nature of an individual, the first step to restoring those relationships is forgiveness: both asking for it and giving it (depending on what side of the interaction you are on). When we forgive, we are stating to that person that what happened is in the past and that you are no longer holding onto what it did to you. When you ask for forgiveness, you are humbling yourself and asking for grace from God or that other person. Grace is giving love and forgiveness to someone when it isn't deserved. You may be asking, "Why should I forgive someone when they don't deserve it?" The answer is simple; because God forgives us even though we don't deserve it. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to die for the sin in our lives, He rose from the grave, and He is still living today. If we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior and repent (turn away) from our sinful ways, God will forgive our sins and give us eternal salvation. It is a free gift that is open to any and everyone on earth. Don't let the opportunity pass you by to receive God's salvation and forgiveness. Don't let the prideful competitiveness of thinking you know better than God separate you from the blessings He has in store for you. Humble yourself, admit you need Jesus in your life, ask for forgiveness, and invite Jesus into your life. This does not mean that life instantly becomes easy, but it does mean that you now have Jesus as the captain of your team, and He won't steer you wrong. When you have Jesus on your team leading the way, life is a competition that you can't lose!
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." -John 3:16
Until next time...
Trevor
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