Well, it hasn't been as long as I normally take in between blog posts, but I feel that this particular topic is important enough to break my routine. And, that is exactly what this blog is about. Breaking routines! Breaking bad habits and creating good habits.
For far too long, I have been neglecting my health and I've been in a state of self denial of how bad I've let myself become. I kept telling myself, "I'm still athletic," and, "I can still play volleyball. So I'm ok." But, it was never so evident of how inaccurate and naive those statements were as it was this last weekend. Due to my vast weight gain in the last 12 years (yes, since high school), I have not been able to keep many jeans or dress pants for very long. So when I was asked by some friends of mine to help them out with a weekend job they were hosting, I was happy to help out but weary that I was going to have to purchase some new black pants. I wasn't weary because I had to buy them, it was the size of the pants that I was dreading. Only this time, I had no idea how bad this trip to the store was going to hit me.
I have faced the fact that my pant size has hit a number that starts with a "4". But it has never had anything but a "0" following it. Until this past Saturday! I grabbed a size 40" off of the rack and proceeded to the fitting rooms. As I got the pants on and tried to latch the button, I realized that task was impossible without ruining the pants. So, back to the rack they went. I tried to find a size 42" with the right leg length. No such luck. However, I did find a size 44" with the correct length. I thought to myself, "Eh, so they'll be a little big." But, when I tried them on, they were a perfect fit. WHAT?! 44"?! I remember when I was in high school and bought size 34" just so they would be a little baggier. As I looked myself in the mirror, fighting back tears, I told myself, "Look what you've done to yourself!" I folded up the pants and took them to the cashier to buy them. Throughout the whole event that I was working that night, I couldn't help but be reminded every time I looked down that I was wearing a size 44". I told myself that night that I was going to change myself for the better. There couldn't have been a better eye opening experience for me than seeing that number on the tag. I will NEVER let my pant size increase, and I will do my absolute best to shrink my waistline and get healthy again.
I know, probably better than anyone, that talk is cheap. But I'm also not asking for everyone who reads this to just believe that I'm going to do this. I would rather show you all. Humbling myself by telling you all this is just a small step that I feel is necessary to help the jump start to my long journey. But I am serious about this weight loss and health journey. I want to be a better athlete! I want to be a better coach! I want to be a healthier son, brother, uncle, boyfriend, friend, etc! I want to watch my family grow! I am ready for this challenge. I'm ready to be the man that God wants me to be!
The reason I know I'm going to succeed this time is because I didn't talk this over with anyone first. No one was pumping me up and getting me excited about this. This time... it is all me. So, to everyone that is close to me, I hope you can understand why I kept it secret for a few days. I had to know that I was serious about this before I went on blabbing about it. But, you all are the greatest, and I know you will all show me nothing but love, and I thank you with all of my heart.
So, from here on out, this blog will no longer just be an update on day to day life, and catching up on what has gone on in the time between posts, but it will be an update on my progress on the path to a healthier life style. This is not just a choice, it's a complete life change. I am so excited for this! Thank you all for your love and support. I won't let you down this time.
Now for the weigh in. My official weight, the last time I weighed in was 283 pounds about 3 weeks ago. However, I think I'm slightly heavier. So, until I can get an official current weight, I'm rounding up to 290 pounds. I have a lot of work to do, and I'm excited for what the future holds. Thanks again!
Wish me luck,
-Trevor
